The crack contest staff of Laughton.org thanks Polly Pollster for submitting the only entry that met the conditions for winning, thereby saving us the difficulties we experienced tallying the final score for Rig the Vote! As the winning contestant herself observes, "Polly was appalled that the prior pollsters were so pathetic that contest participants proposed changes paled in comparison to the pervasive predominance of Obama voters. Cheers!" Yeah, that's what we say too. Thanks to everyone for playing, no matter how feeble your attempts.
"Polly was appalled that the prior pollsters were so pathetic that contest participants proposed changes paled in comparison to the pervasive predominance of Obama voters. Cheers!"
Yeah, that's what we say too. Thanks to everyone for playing, no matter how feeble your attempts.
Official Results from CNN
Zapped States Are Marked With an "X"
|Oliver North (Twist)||X||X||X||131,461,209|
|M. F. Leith||X||X||X||X||X||X||100,000,000|
|Mr. Potatoe Head**||X||X||X||128,691,485|
|States which no players have zapped are not displayed in the table.|
*Richard Laughton is a "Canadian," unaffiliated with Laughton.org, and eligible to win a prize.
**Mr. Potatoe Head is an employee of Laughton.org and is ineligible to receive a prize.
Abbreviations: AL-Alabama AK-Alaska AZ-Arizona AR-Arkansas CA-California CO-Colorado CT-Connecticut DE-Delaware DC-Washington, D.C. FL-Florida GA-Georgia HI-Hawaii ID-Idaho IL-Illinois IN-Indiana IA-Iowa KS-Kansas KY-Kentucky LA-Louisiana ME-Maine MD-Maryland MA-Massachusetts MI-Michigan MN-Minnesota MS-Mississippi MO-Missouri MT-Montana NE-Nebraska NV-Nevada NH-New Hampshire NJ-New Jersey NM-New Mexico NY-New York NC-North Carolina ND-North Dakota OH-Ohio OK-Oklahoma OR-Oregon PA-Pennsylvania RI-Rhode Island SC-South Carolina SD-South Dakota TN-Tennessee TX-Texas UT-Utah VT-Vermont VA-Virginia WA-Washington WV-West Virginia WI-Wisconsin WY-Wyoming
The problem is simple: too many states! Or to be specific, too many of the wrong states. This contest gives you the opportunity to correct this problem by eliminating as many states as you like from the Electoral College. You'll do this neatly and painlessly by using alien technology as seen in the classic-but-preachy science-fiction movie The 27th Day. This technology lets you remove all the humans from a geographic location without harming any plants or animals (the aliens wanted to use it to clean up planet Earth before moving in, but you'll have to watch the movie to find out what went wrong with their plan). Although the term is not used in the movie, for contest purposes we'll use the word "zap" to mean "remove from the presidential 2008 election results." If by zapping the right states you manage to reverse the outcome of the coming election, you may win a prize!
How to Enter
Use the convenient form at the bottom of this page to enter the contest. Fill in the identifying fields, then check the box next to each state you want to zap. Finally, fill in your tiebreaker prediction and click "submit." All entries must be received no later than midnight on Sunday, November 2, 2008.
Anyone with an e-mail account is welcome to play. There is no charge. You may send only one entry from an e-mail address. If you have more than one address, you may send one entry from each. You may use the same address to enter this contest and any other running concurrently at Laughton.org.
Results will be calculated using CNN's online election results. For each contestant, the electoral votes from all the states he doesn't zap will be tallied, and if the result of this "recount" is the reverse of the actual election, the contestant is eligible to win a prize. Since it's likely that more than one player will meet this criterion, a series of tiebreakers will be used to determine the prizewinner. If multiple players are tied for first place after all tiebreakers have been exhausted, duplicate prizes will be awarded (or equivalent prizes if duplicates cannot be obtained). Tiebreakers will be applied in the order shown here:
Seeking Professional Help
Where and how you do your research is entirely your decision. For those of you who aren't sure where to start, we suggest CNN. They summarize the results of all the latest polls in their Electoral Map Calculator, which not only tells you which way each state is leaning but also lets you see the impact of changing the preference of any state.
|District of Columbia||3|